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Darth Maul
Many people argue that Darth Maul should have survived Episode I, but here's my theory.

Darth Maul had to die to show two things:
1) Obi Wan is a hard ass
2) Symmetry.

Now, the only thing that stops me is that Darth Maul does not look the way he does because it's his genes... no, those marks are tattooed onto his head... almost like George Washington, who had his face that we see tattooed on, when really he looked like Adrian Brody.

Darth Tyrranus may have sucked ass, but Maul needed to die. End of story.
dare I say I have no idea how this money thing works? But I have a feeling it's gonna rip my heart out at more than one point...

love, chris
A rousing three comment welcome!
Tuesday. 1.10.12 6:36 am
Well, to answer your questions - I have no videos of me performing as of now, that will be happening soon. When I know, you'll know. You can see my show if you're in the MD/VA area and know where I will be on a particular night... and by my show I mean the 5-9 minutes that particular club will let me do.

Now to blogging...

...shit too tired to do that. Maybe tomorrow night? We'll see what develops.

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Friday. 1.6.12 4:10 am
What's up NuTang?

Did you miss me?

Yeah didn't think so.

ANYWHOODLES here's an update:

I am a pizza samurai (guy who makes good non-dominos/papa john's pizza) to pay for my gas money to go and do stand up comedy all over the .. well alright State of Maryland... and Virginia... sometimes Pennsylvania, and that one time in Massachusetts... holy shit am I on tour?

Anyway, just got back from a show in VA, I'm usually pretty hard on myself but these people were eating my shit up... which is good because I have been working this act for about 6 months, so I guess it's starting to come together.

Anyway, how are you NuTang? Regardless of how little you missed me I sure as shit missed you, so get at me.. let's talk.

Love and Kisses,


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Tuesday. 3.15.11 11:08 pm
Suffer as I have suffered:


I cannot hold ill will toward Rebecca Black, even if she did in fact write that song. Whoever told her that this song was good and merited any sort of attention, however, needs to be dragged behind the nearest shed and shot.

That is all.

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Saturday. 3.12.11 3:29 am

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Saturday. 3.12.11 3:13 am
Netflix on my PS3 = great times.

So Dave came to visit today. It's always good to see a friendly face from PA, but he passed out about 2 hours early so here I am. Looking for something good on the Netflix instant queue. If no suggestions come I am back to 30 Rock (which I have seen a billion times) help me.


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Yeah yeah... back and stuff
Monday. 3.7.11 12:38 am
So my year might have been more brutal than initially anticipated.

Currently, I live with my mother and stepfather in a house that is structurally a nightmare (we all know it)... in Edgewater, Maryland. FUN FACT! Edgewater is actually the only town as racist as central PA that is actually located in the direct middle of Baltimore and D.C.

SO! Not only is stand-up beyond improbable, but acting jobs are also kind of rough. Oh, and thanks to the knock up job of our Elephant friends in Congress, it is God damn fucking cunt ass shit balls impossible to get a job that pays over minimum wage here... so it appears I'll be stuck in this situation for some time.

But I try to keep positive, hell, at least I haven't turned to heroin yet...

Anyway... I am not gonna make any promises about my loyalty or how often I will post this time around... all I ask is that you guys welcome me back knowing that I am going to try. I feel my less than average life can at least make you chuckle every now and then.


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